Harbin’s ‘Da Kuan’ and it’s mate ‘chi ruan fan’.

Babyface is a new club just opened in Harbin, it is a chain of clubs that can be found in Shanghai, Beijing and other major metropolitan centres. It has a reputation for the newest music, the greatest atmosphere and the classiest decor. Harbin’s opened on Christmas day, anyone who visited a Babyface in another city was salivating with the thoughts that Harbin could leave it’s fascination with Happy Hardcore and pop remixes behind. But true to it’s redneck roots, it failed to come up to the class of the other branches of this franchise. Customers were treated to the same 20 songs that Harbiners like to listen to all the time!!!

They chased the same money that all the other clubs are chasing in Harbin. The ‘Da Kuan’. Let me explain what this species of money is. This is a large mammal, usually between the age of 35 and 45. It’s appearance does not vary greatly, black polo neck, black slacks and black leather shoes. In summer the ‘Da Kuan’ will shed this outer layer and dress in more colourful garb; black boss T-Shirt, white slacks, red socks and white leather shoes. It’s mane also conforms to the standard crew cut or flat top spike.

It’s habits are also easily defined. Usually seen with a female known as ’chi ruan fan’ or translated as ‘eating soft food’ or ‘golddigger’ they can be seen together spending vast amounts of money in nightclubs. Conspicuously consuming expensive drink, and shouting rudely at anyone who becomes too close to their pissing ground. On recent excursions I have witnessed the ‘Da Kuan’ pouring XO brandy out in a ‘this one goes out for my homies’ fashion, “pure class” other ‘Da Kuan’ thought, ‘zhuang bi’ or ‘fake cunt’ I thought.

If you travel Harbin, be sure to keep your eyes open for a ‘Da Kaun’ otherwise known as the ‘Zhuang bi’. They can be seen in all the major discos, (I won’t call them clubs until they grow up!).

Lunchtime’s always a pain in the arse.

One thing you can always be sure of in Harbin,  is a choice of good places to eat lunch at a seriously discounted price. Even if you’re in the larger department stores, like Yuanda and Songlei, a massive lunch will only cost you ten yuan. And ten yuan is expensive compared to some of the glitzy places you can eat for one yuan. As with any place, personally speaking anyway, you tend to eat the same lunch every day for about two or three weeks and then get sick of it! And then you try something else for a few weeks and get sick of that. A bit like marriage really. So at the moment, what I’m in the process of getting sick of,  is a great Korean dish called “Ban Fan”. It’s a veggie dish, which consists of a bowl of rice with some beansprouts, cabbage, carrots, seaweed all served with a bit of chilli sauce in a roasting hot bowl and wait for it….the best bit….a big runny fried egg plonked on top, all for the exorbitant price of 6 RMB. I know, I know, it’s a bit steep.

Then, there’s the noodles. Of course, some places are better than others but generally, you can’t go wrong.  I’m bored now, so I’ll finish this post later. Take it easy.

 

 

An introduction to Haharbin.

Ok, so the first post. Let’s see…. where to start? Right, my aim is to provide a point of reference for foriegners hoping to visit/ move to/ fly over/ avoid Harbin. I want to give you the reasons why and why not, the pros and cons, the good, the bad and the ugly of this seldom talked about backwater in China.

 Why should you listen to me? Well, I’ve lived here for almost 3 years. I have lived with what Harbin has to offer and to live without what Harbin is lacking. This city has got a hold of me. I don’t know why. But for the sake of filling out a few inches I’m going to try to define what Harbin has to offer.

1. Beer, Ha Pi beer is the best beer in China. Ask anyone, anyone who disagrees is wrong.
2. Learn Chinese in Harbin, the dialect is the most standard. How do I know? The taxi drivers told me so.
3. Rough, Harbin is the wild north east. People haven’t really caught on to the whole gentrification thing yet, most bars don’t even have a mirror in the toilets.
4. Food, the place has loads of great restaurants and cheap, so cheap. Take 50RMB with you, eat your fill, stagger out with enough money in your pocket for a bottle of vodka in Blues bar (more on there later!).
5. Sights, Ice lantern festival, temples, blah blah blah.
6. Shopping, markets, department stores, enjoy haggling over a pair of 2RMB socks.
7. Small foreign community. There are about 800 foriegners here, last thing I heard. Locals love nothing more than to welcome you with a loud “HHHHEEEEEELLLLO!”.
8. Emmmm, taxis. A rollercoaster ride.
9. Ehhhhhh, weather, cold in winter, hot in summer. Winter is for hot pot with as many friends as you can find. Summer is for beer gardens with as many friends as can stand up.