Forget him, he’s dead already! or Dumplings and car alarms.

OK, it’s been a while, but it wasn’t our fault, I promise!!! We couldn’t log onto the site for a week. Which, because it’s China, logically meant that the powers that be have tracked us down, read the controversial nature of our site and considered it dangerous dissident propaganda. Of course they were on their way to tracking Chris and I down, luckily I intercepted them and blamed Chris for the offending content. Chris won’t be heard from again, so please lets just move on and forget all of this unpleasantness. 

China held it’s annual car alarm festival, traditionally referred to as New Year, in the last week. Harbin resembled Dublin on Good Friday with a healthy dose of Iraq mixed in for a week. Chinese New Year is traditionally the time when millions of Chinese travel for days on over crowded trains to go home and watch tv. The festival is the time of year when families reunite so businesses, restaurants, bars, clubs and shops all shut their doors. People set off copious amounts of fireworks, eat dumplings and play ma jiang, party-tastic!!!

Honesty’s the best policy.

So, 2 years and 8 months ago, I finished my final project in the final year of my communications with multimedia degree course and I sat back with a pint of Guinness in me hand and I says: “I want to go to Asia”.

The month was June and I had just finished a hard slog of three years of study. Half of the first year was getting back into the swing of studying after a 4 year interlude! Anyway, the final project was handed in and that’s when the teaching began. Teaching in Ireland that is. Me moulding minds!

So it was off to Gormanston College for, what turned out to be, two great months of teaching Spanish and Italian teenagers the joys of the English language! Seriously, it was a laugh and it was to prepare me, albeit in a small way, for what was to come.

So, after a summer of ups and downs, swings and roundabouts, strikes and gutters, the faithful day came at the start of August that was to change my life, irrevocably. It was the day when I was asked:

“Well, do you want to come Harbin to teach?”

“Where the f**k is Harbin?”, says I.

“North-East China”, came the reply.

So, being quite the spontaneous and impulsive person that I am, I said: “Yeah, why the jaysus not”. That wasn’t before I perused, what was the first in a line of the most meanlingness contracts I have ever , and will probably ever, have the displeasure of perusing! And I mean that! Although sometimes entertaining to say the least,  the contracts are legally binding, however,  I am of the opinion that they are not worth the paper they are written on. It is easier than easy to do a runner on one of these “contracts”. Of course, this could be said of any contract, but with schools in China, it’s somewhat different.

Personally, I have always seen my contracts out, but I could easily see a time when I wouldn’t have any qualms whatsoever, in breaking one of these contracts, safe in the knowledge, that once I stay away from whatever school I am running from, all would be rosy in the garden.

Lots of people, on different forums and what have you, would more than likely disagree with me, saying that the subsequent school will look for a letter of release. This is true, but how difficult is it for anyone to say no to any school who may look for a letter. There are PLENTY of schools looking for teachers so keep in mind who needs who the most. 

Anyway, I signed the contract and two weeks later, I was on a plane to Harbin….

…to be contd

 

CHRIS’ MA LIKES THIS WEBSITE SHOCKER!!!!!

It was confirmed exclusively on Haharbin.wordpress.com that Chris’ ma does like what her son does in his free time. Click here and here.

Using Confucianism to understand why nothing has changed!

Confucianism has guided China’s moral and political life for over 2000 years. Confucian values underlie the respect generally given to parents, teachers (foreigners are exempt…respect my arse, although, in fairness, students do give respect but as far as most schools are concerned it’s like “Respect? Respect who? Foreign teacher? Erm, no!” ) And finally, old people as a whole are revered.

The days in which Confucius lived were, compared to the past, a time of moral chaos, in which common values were widely rejected or simply disregarded. Crime was on the rise, with robbery and theft increasing in the countryside and murder a serious problem in the cities and at court; there was a general lack of interest in trying to reintegrate criminals into society (“Just shoot them…yeah, that’s the answer…shoot the bastards…too many people anyway”).

The gap between rich and poor was (and is) broad and growing, with the rich living extravagantly in enormous mansions (and driving their black V.W Passats) while an abundance of food somehow failed to reach the hungry who needed it. Government was (and is) routinely corrupt and distrusted by the people, who didn’t (and don’t) fail to observe the lack of productivity among the rich and powerful. The economy was (and is) changing as well. The productive class, mostly farmers, was(and is) shrinking, while the commercial sector was (and is) growing. The marketplaces were (and are being) flooded with goods described as being costly and of “no real utility.”

Part of the growing middle class was a sector of scholars, who had great difficulty finding employment. While reformers such as Confucius existed, they were a minority. Even in such apparently barren philosophical ground, Confucianism not only took root, but flourished, eventually transforming Chinese society with its values, and dominating it for centuries. So I ask you, what has changed since then? It seems Confucius, with all his wise words, has been forgotten in modern day China. As with most other “capitalist” countries, the focus has gone off these philosophical values that were once hailed.

What we are seeing is a return to the “barren philosophical ground” that once prevailed when Confucius began to speak so wisely. It’s all gone full circle it would seem, so, who’s the next Confucius going to be??

>Mmmmmm…… Da Kuan?!!

Bullshit, from the best!!!

Thanks to danwei.org for the enlightenment.

This is taken from a JWT, an advertising company (duh!!), press release:
Understanding and Embracing China’s Different Worldview Is Main Theme of Billions: Selling to the New Chinese Consumer by JWT’s Tom Doctoroff.

Twelve Facts about the Confucian Consumer

1. Chinese people put pineapple, not pepperoni, on pizza. All foods are
divided into “heaty” and “cooling” foods, and the two must be balanced at all
times. Pizza is heaty, so the pineapple cools it down.

They also put turtlehead in hotpot, donkey in dumplings and snake and cat into soup. Americans started the whole pineapple on pizza thing, the sick fuckers.

2. In China, “fresh” means “alive.” Daoism is still a force in the
People’s Republic. Daoists believe our natural state is the only “balanced”
state. Therefore, Chinese have a deep aversion to manmade preservatives. For
that matter, Chinese women get prickly about chemicals in shampoo.

Bollox, my shampoo glows in the dark.

3. Brands used inside the home are locally produced and cheaply made.
Brands shown publicly are foreign made and expensive. In a Confucian society,
social status is an investment, so consumers will pay a huge premium for
mobile phones and high-end alcohol. At home, price sensitivity is extreme.
There are no designer bedspreads. Victoria’s Secret doesn’t stand a chance.

Check out ‘Da Kaun’ posting from a few days ago.

4. Chinese people never have dinner parties. The home is a place of refuge,
escape, and, every once in a while, self-expression. Comfort is key. But where
you live is paramount, which is why apartment blocks sport such names as “The
Gathering of All Heroes Under Heaven” and “Tycoon Court.”

5. More than 80 percent of Shanghai couples now get married with an
engagement ring, up from practically zero a couple of years ago. In an unsafe
world, men have to demonstrate — not talk about — their love. Women are
suspicious of guys who say, “I love you.”

Check out ‘chi ruan fan’ posting from a few days ago.

6. A powerful woman decorates her $1,000 mobile phone with Hello Kitty
stickers because she wants to be soft on the outside and like iron on the
inside.

She also opens her eyes very wide when talking to you, to make her eyes bigger and so more child like, and giggles like a 13 year old when you talk to her.

7. In China, feminine beauty is a tool that moves a woman forward.
Cosmetic surgery is all the rage because it helps a young woman land a job,
not a man.

‘Chou mei’, or ’smelly beautiful’, or ‘vain’ is or is not a phrase in Chinese?

8. Soy sauce can save lives. The thinking is as follows: “If my food
tastes good, my family will eat more. If my family eats more, they’ll get more
nutrition. If they get more nutrition, no one will get sick. If no one gets
sick, no one will lose a job. If no one loses a job, the family will be in
harmony. If the family is in harmony, a new generation can be born.” Unlike
anywhere else in the world, great taste ladders to good health.

9. In 1995, the Chinese middle class virtually didn’t exist. By 2005,
there were approximately 100 million individuals in China with incomes in
excess of $4,000 (even in expensive coastal cities, purchasing parity power is
at least 2.5 versus the U.S.). By 2010, there will probably be 200 million
middle-class folk.

Can’t wait, give me more Da Kuans, more, more, more!!!

10. The smartest guy in the class is the coolest guy in the class. Girls
really and truly go for brains, not bodies. In a dog-eat-dog, hierarchical
Confucian world, intelligence is the ultimate weapon. Health clubs will always
be niche.

True, he also likes to listen to Backstreet Boys!

11. Chinese people squirrel away 40 percent of their income, despite
making, on average, less than a tenth of U.S. per capita income. The Chinese
believe the fickle hand of fate can turn against them at any time. And there’s
virtually no safety net.

12. Germs are the ultimate evil. A Chinese mother’s primary role is to
protect the child from harm and shield the family from invasion. That’s why
air conditioners, washing machines, soap, food, dishwashers, and television
sets all scream, “germ-free.

kan hai zi, xi yi fu, shou shi, zhe shi nv ren de sheng hua.
Look after the kids, wash the clothes and clean the house, this is a woman’s life.